Hi ladies, happy Saturday. I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend. This week has been incredibly busy and I’m absolutely enjoying this season of my life. There are so many exciting things going on that infertility and miscarriage has finally taken its rightful place: something I’m not to waste my time worrying or feeling anxious about.
I’m feeling pretty exhausted and need to get to bed early so I can wake up for church tomorrow, but I wanted to do a quick update.
Monday, I started working out with my husband before he goes to work and he gave me a killer work-out. I’m super motivated right now to lose weight and I’m going to be doing weekly YouTube videos about my weight loss journey. I was also thinking about starting the Paleo diet again (just me, not my husband) but I’m really wanting to attack our debt, so I think I’ll do kind of a mixture of Paleo a few times a week and vegan a few times a week. I know that must sound crazy, but eating meatless meals can really save you money, and I like how healthy the vegan diet is. On top of my weekly weight loss videos, I will do a weekly grocery haul and what I ate during the week video. I love watching grocery hauls and seeing what people eat to get ideas, so I figured that would be fun to film and hopefully people will want to watch.
Tuesday I started in-house training at the pregnancy center and it was a very interesting day. It was weird hearing so many people get positive pregnancy tests – I kept expecting to hear some negative results. So far my training has been boring just watching videos and reading pamphlets, but I did get to sit in on an ultrasound. I experienced conflicting emotions watching that, happy that the heart was beating and that the mother was excited to see her baby and obviously wanted to keep her baby, but also feeling a little sad remembering my ultrasounds with baby Hope. Overall, I’m glad that they let me watch the ultrasound. I love babies – and it is really cool to see a tiny heart flickering away. Life is beautiful.
Another day this week, I was listening to the nurse and one of the counselors talk about one of the patients who was talking about how she had been spotting since December and didn’t know exactly how far along she was, but said that she had spotting all through-out her other pregnancies. They took her in for an ultrasound and then afterwards, I heard them saying that she was going to come back in two weeks because she might have ovulated late. All I could think about as a loss mom is, “that woman is going to lose her baby.” I sure hope not. What an honor to be able to pray on her behalf and pray for the life of her child.
Even though this is a crisis pregnancy center dealing mostly with unplanned pregnancies, we help any woman who comes in, and sadly they do have patients that experience miscarriage. I’m wondering if perhaps I’ll be able to use my history with miscarriage somehow within this ministry. We shall see what happens. I appreciate your prayers in the matter that God would lead me and make it clear if He is calling me to start something special here.
I’ve been completely surprised by how well I have handled everything dealing with pregnancy lately. The bitterness is just gone now. Of course, I will always have that little ache, but I feel so much peace and freedom now that I didn’t use to have. All glory goes to God. There is a volunteer at our center that is very pregnant and due next month, and I didn’t even mind being in her presence. I actually enjoyed talking with her and had no feelings of jealousy or sadness on my part. It’s incredible. A miracle, really. I’m telling you – this is not who I am. It amazes my husband as well. For the longest time, I couldn’t even stand to be in the same check-out line as a pregnant woman. I had such bitterness inside of me that it was destroying me. And now, peace. It’s a joy to be able to live again.
Oh goodness, I have so many other things to tell you ladies about, but I’ll have to save it for another day. I need to get some rest for tomorrow.
Love and prayers to you all,